The New and Improved Emily
by Talia345
Summary: Emily is almost whole. But is there still a fear that lives inside of her? Are there still those things to hold her back in life? Follow Emily through the turmoils of the firehouse, and the police department, a boyfriend, a girl who sees her like a mother sometimes, and much more. Sequel to Emily Dawson. This will follow season 2 much more closely. Trigger warnings.
1. Problematic

At six in the morning, Gaby knocked on her door and promptly let herself in. Basil rose happily and wagged her tail. Gaby let her out through the sliding door and pulled the covers off of Emily.

"Up and at 'em, monkey" she called.

Emily let out a grunt and reached for the covers, growing upset and letting out another moan when she didn't find them.

Gaby could already see her wrists, so she didn't feel the need to inspect them, but as Emily rolled, she sat herself on the bed and stopped her once she was on her side.

"Stop there" she instructed, "I'm going to check"

They'd been checking her hip and her wrists on a daily basis in the morning- Gaby and Shay both. They had to narrate the fact that they were going to look every morning. Emily had developed a new level of self-consciousness, Antonio couldn't check- she wouldn't let him, and if Gaby or Shay had pulled the hem of her pants down to check, she'd have a minor freak-out. It was as if she'd had some physical or sexual abuse or trauma, but she hadn't, only self-inflicted.

"I didn't do anything" she whispered.

"Unfortunately, you brought this upon yourself, if you hadn't done what you did, we wouldn't be doing this" Gaby told her.

"I didn't mean to…" a tear slipped down her cheek.

"That doesn't really matter, because it happened."

There was nothing there, just as Emily had said. She was not only checking for the possibility of new cuts, but also to make sure the old ones were still healing properly. Because she had only half a spleen, infection came easy to Emily. As with the scars on her legs, the cuts she inflicted didn't heal brilliantly. While she did a relatively good job keeping them clean, it wasn't enough- they still got infected and they still damage. They would fade eventually, maybe five years, but they wouldn't be nearly as pronounced until then.

"How do you feel today so far?" Gaby asked her.

It was six in the morning and she had just woken up, she wasn't feeling anything but guilt over the slight conversation that had just taken place.

But then there was a revelation. A revelation that brought new tears to her eyes, "It's been a year" she whispered, her eyes filling instantly and spilling over.

Gaby sighed, "Yeah…"

"Will you lay with me for a moment?"

She swallowed her breath. Emily had been on a strict schedule- get up at six, shower for fifteen minutes at most with music as a time-guide, she eats at six thirty, and then gets her meds, they make sure of it, her hair dries while she eats but she finishes getting ready by seven-o-five, and then they leave for school, which starts at seven thirty. Shift starts at eight, so she hangs out until they leave for that. Gaby doesn't want to disrupt that.

She's been thinking for too long, "You know what?" she said, hastily getting out of bed. Basil stopped dead in the yard, looked towards them and then trotted to the door.

"Nevermind" she continued, grabbing a towel from the back of her desk chair, "You wanna know how I feel?" her voice grew, "I ask you to do ONE thing for me that pertains to how I feel and you can't do one thing?! We were doing well Gaby! But that's fine, I'll tell the therapist how I feel and then you don't get to know!" she'd backed herself into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Gaby slumped, tears now arriving behind her eyes, and sat for a moment. She knew she messed up. This would be one of those times where she should worry that Emily might do something extreme to let her emotions out, but they'd had an argument or two already and Em was always clean. She rose and let Basil in, who scampered past and sat by the bathroom door.

"I'm sorry" Gaby said to her, feeling guilty.

Basil tilted her head forward in a nod and wagged her tail, the only way to tell Gaby that she knew and understood.

Emily finished, came out and ate in silence, took her meds, and disappeared again. Gaby only packed some snacks for then both because she knew lunch would be made at the firehouse.

The drive was silent. Gaby looked back at Emily every few seconds through the rearview, watching her sister text- probably about her and how awful she was.

At the firehouse, she was a little passive with everyone, but still said hello when they greeted her.

She set down her things and tried not to cry as everyone was being so nice to her and being so careful. Then she went straight to the fridge and unloaded her cooler into it- Basil's raw meat and her meds.

Mills walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast for all those firefighters who hadn't eaten. He reached over her head for the orange juice and set two glasses on the counter. He poured her a glass and slid it towards her.

"Here ya go Em" he said

"I'm not thirsty, I already ate" she mumbled unhappily and walked away.

She picked her things back up and went for the locker room. Basil looked conflicted standing in the doorway. As Mills looked at her, she held eye contact, looked in the direction Emily went and looked back. She released a whine and finally went after Emily.

Gaby walked into the kitchen and pulled the glass away from Mills as he tried to pour it back into the bottle. She downed what was left and loaded the cup into the dishwasher.

"What's up with her?" Mills questioned.

"I messed up this morning. She shouldn't take it out on you guys and she knows that, but she's not talking to me and since she is speaking at least short sentences to everyone here, she's releasing her feelings on you. Give her time, she'll talk to someone and it'll be over with." Gaby explained.

Severide looked over as they talked, listening in a little. He got up and followed her to the locker room. He heard her toss something into the locker and watched from the end of the aisle, hidden mostly from her view. She wrestled to get her dance bag in the locker and slammed the door shut after.

He watched her face as it grew sad and watched as she set her back against the locker and slumped to the floor. He looked around- there was no one there, and emerged, walking toward her.

She looked up at him as he appeared beside her. Her face didn't change, didn't get happier. He sat, back against the lockers beside her.

"Wanna talk?"

"Do I have a choice?" She retorted.

"Listen kid, everyone here is on your side. No one can _make_ you do anything, but everyone is here for you if you want to. So no, I'm not gonna make you, but I might follow you until you tell _someone_."

She rested her head on what was meant to be his shoulder, but she was short so it wound up being his very large bicep.

They sat for a moment, "It's been a year" she blurted out.

"Yeah, it has. That what got you down?" He felt her shake her head.

"Tell me what's up then" he pushed.

"Gaby asked me how I was feeling this morning. And I told her that same thing and asked her to lay with me because I got sad and she had to think about it!" Her voice became croaky and strained by the end of the explanation, "She had to think and she thought for too long. She couldn't do one thing! The stupid schedule that I have half an hour of leniency on during shift days and she couldn't lay down for 3 minutes!"

She turned her head to press her face into his arm. He released a sigh and looked up to think about and look for an answer. He spotted chief standing right about where he had been a few minutes ago.

"I know it's hard" he told her.

He moved his arm and she sat forward, allowing him to maneuver it around her back and pull her onto his lap. She curled against him and he rubbed her back.

"Kelly" Boden called, emerging, "They need you to make sure all's good with your engine" he nodded.

"I gotta go munchkin" he murmured into her hair.

She nodded. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rose, placing her on the bench that she had just been eye level with. He left, noting that Boden wasn't leaving and receiving a nod from the older man as he passed him.

Boden walked towards Emily and straddled the bench beside her.

"It'll get better" he told her, scooting closer.

"It was just one thing" she squeaked.

Her face pinched and she leaned into him he accepted her easily, pulling her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the smoke from the fires off his collar.

"Your sister..." He started, "Is trying to figure out how to function with you now. I'm not going to lecture you, but for a while, things are gonna be different, you know that. What she did was just a glitch, and probably won't ever happen again." She nodded.

Shay rounded the corner, looking down. She stopped short when as she took her eyes off the ground, "Oh… Sorry, I didn't mean to… I'll just…"

"No, no" Boden interrupted her stuttering, "She could use a woman's explanation" he said.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, chuckling a little and opening her locker.

"Yeah" Boden said, doing all the same things Kelly did before leaving: placed a kiss on her head, set her on the bench, and squeezed her hand.

Shay shut her locker door and looked to Emily as she stuck the lock back on it.

"She told me" she said

"Yeah? She tell you how she how hard she had to think about her answer?"

"Yeah, she did"

"Why?"

"Because she knows. She knows she did something wrong and she knows it hurt you pretty bad. She said she let Basil in and apologized 'cause she didn't know what else to do" Emily let out a chuckle at that.

"She's still trying to figure things out" Shay explained

"Will it ever stop?"

"Maybe. But you're gonna be in college one day and she's going to ask you how you're doing and if you say stressed, she's gonna make sure you aren't doing anything bad." She continued.

Emily didn't say anything. She knew Gaby was in the wrong, and she didn't regret what she said to her because she meant every word, but she still found herself feeling bad about the argument.

She opened her mouth to speak and looked up at Shay, but just as the first sound left her throat, the bell sounded: _"Apartment fire 1751 Blanchard road… Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3, Battalion 25…" _

Shay gave her an apologetic look and rushed out into the garage. And thus, Emily was left alone.

Kelly stormed through the door first, ignored Emily's advance, and went straight for the bathroom. She looked to Capp, who shook his head, "He'll be okay" he told her, ruffling her hair with a large, calloused hand. She brushed it away with a grin.

Matt did the same thing, but it wasn't as much of an ignorance thing more of it was the look he had when he was on a mission. So, defeated, she sat on the couch, curled in the corner, and sent a good-morning to Antonio.

She didn't hear her sisters come through the door. She was waiting for them, but only noticed them when she looked around and saw them in the kitchen pulling water bottles out of the open fridge. Emily jumped up, bee-lined for Gaby, said nothing, and wrapped her arms around her waist. She hugged her tightly, catching the older woman off guard. Gaby let her arms settle comfortably on her back and she bent over her to encase her completely.

"Why are you shaking?" she asked worriedly.

"There was a thing at the hospital…" Gaby said and gave her the face that said to leave it there.

She looked to Shay, who looked away as she took another gulp of water.

"Where's Uncle Wallace?" she asked, pulling away from the hug.

"He had to stop at headquarters" Otis said from his place at the fridge.

The news of the firehouse on the probation list arrived with Chief Boden, and no one was happy about it. And then there was the news of the new arrivals from another house, two people Emily wasn't familiar with. It made her nervous, but what choice did she have? Ditch this fire family for a different one? Or ditch this fire family for a detective family? Sure she wanted to get to know the detectives, but she liked this family, she'll just have to keep a space open for more.

"Is she ever going to come here? Like… scope sh-things out?" Cruz asked.

Emily let out a giggle and Chief sent a trying smile her way, "I don't know… maybe?" he answered.

That made her stop really quickly, "I don't wanna meet her… what is she gonna say about me?" Emily asked, looking up at her sisters.

"I don't know, I assume she knows about you, everyone seems to" Boden said.

This made her frown, everyone knows about her?

"And uh… they're gonna take out half a row of lockers to make room for old firehouse stuff, so we're going to need to share and, Emily darlin', you might not get one anymore, but your things are welcome to stay in my office" she let out a scowl.

She quickly changed it to a smile and sent a thankful nod in his direction.

Things didn't last long before Herrmann came hootin' and hollerin' about a car on fire. They all rushed outside. The smell of smoke filled Emily's nose and she let out a ragged cough and pinched her nose shut. Basil caught her other sleeve between her teeth and attempted to pull her backwards, but it only brought her down to her butt.

Emily let out a yelp and Basil apologized broken-heartedly in her brain. Before she knew it, she was roughed up into the air and swung around a thick torso, by the smell of the aftershave and the size and feel of the hands, it was her Uncle Wallace. He backed her up and narrowly avoided running into Mills as he rushed out with a fire extinguisher. It was Severide's car.

When they got everything put out, two men lumbered up behind them. Not noticing, most of everyone but Matt and Severide went inside and Emily decided as well to follow and not be one of the first to be introduced.

Inside, Matt leads them in, pointing things out as they go along- not that these men are foreign to a firehouse, but this one is bigger and more unique than most. Curled into Mills on the couch, they pass through just as she laughs loudly at something he whispers in her ear. They look over, startled, and give her a funny expression.

"Hi" she offers, "Emily, I'm Gaby's sister, the firehouse is, believe it or not, safer than the police department where my brother works, so I hang here until I get picked up and taken elsewhere." She explains.

Above her head, Mills nods to them.

"Clarke and Spellman" Matt says, pointing to each of them.

Clarke nods, holding the expression, and Spellman waves, and Matt continues with his unnecessary, elaborate tour.

Half an hour later, Mills got up to make a snack and Cruz replaced him. Emily hadn't ever really lain on Cruz like that, but he just sat down and tucked her under his arm so she went with it. Plus, he was fluffy.

She didn't hear the car pull up, and Basil hadn't responded, but when she heard the click of Lexxi's heels and the pitter patter of Haley's feet and her singing, and Seth trying to keep her quiet, she was alerted to them being there and pushed herself off the couch.

"Emmie bear!" Haley squealed, running up and wrapping her arms around the older girl's thighs.

"Hi Hales" Emily responded, bending in half to hug her.

"Hey Em" Alexxis greeted, coming up to hug her also.

Emily wrapped her arms around the darker brunette's neck.

"How are you?" Emily asked her, knowing that after Emily had hit the bottom of her spiral staircase, Lexxi had begun following in her footsteps, falling into flashbacks as well. It brought them closer, each attending the other's support groups. And, as Emily was getting better, they managed to stop Lexxi's free fall, but she was still in the middle of her own staircase, not moving up or down. It was progress but it wasn't regression, which is what they could ask for right now.

"I'm okay" she said, "Is Shay around?" Emily squinted worriedly at her.

"Yeah, she's… somewhere, try laundry" Emily directed.

Lexxi nodded and walked away. It was Seth's turn to hug her, and he did, wrapping his left arm around her shoulders and cupping his right hand around the back of her head. He placed a kiss behind her ear and pulled away. They turned, watched as Haley began to have fun with Cruz, Mouch, and Otis- high fiving and running around. Gaby watched from behind the counter in the kitchen, next to Mills.

"Is Alexxis alright?" She called to Seth

"She's alright, we're working on it" he responded.

Gaby nodded, accepting that answer for what it was, though it wasn't a lot.

The bell rang, stopping everyone, including little Haley in her tracks- apartment fire. Shay ran out into the room from the hallway and disappeared with everyone else. Lexxi followed pretty much right behind her, only lagged for a few seconds.

"Ready to go?" She sniffled.

"Yeah, one sec" Emily replied, stuffing some things into her bookbag as Seth graciously took her duffle.

And they were off, and Emily would have no knowledge of the call the house would get later that night. And maybe it's a good thing that she won't know until the next day.

**Alright, I'd love to know how you all think about this chapter. **

**It felt a little rushed at the end, but I didn't think that Emily should go to the car accident with Heather, I didn't think I'd be able to write that in. **

**I'm going to do my best with her and Spellman and Clarke, I feel like she should be on to Spellman before anyone. **

**Let me know how you'd like to see things pan out, if there are suggestions, requests, or other general questions. **

**I will do my best to do way better with this story… **

**I'll try to keep time and all of that. **

**I'm also going to go back to answering reviews and putting in mentions for new followers and favorites. **

**Thanks again to all of you who are continuing this journey with Emily and love her as much as I do.**


	2. A New Family

Hi guys! Thanks for following me to this story and being so wonderful!

**Thank you to: **Gryffindor4eva for _favoriting!_

**Thank you to: **Dixiewinxwrites12, Gryffindor4eva, kickenkid7, lilbritt4u2, and mandy-chick00, fiction-girl18 for _following!_

**Lilbritt4u2:** I'm so happy you like the story. I can't tell you how much it warms my heart when people like my work. I am already working on chapter two and my goal will be for it be up if not next Thursday then the one after it. I'm going to try to keep a better update schedule, but if I get really bad, you all are welcome to PM me like mad and tell me to get my ass working. I don't want to lose followers again (If I did before…)

She'd been at the studio for four hours straight. She'd practiced her solo, practiced the group dance and taught a minis ballet class. She was stretching herself out when her sister stormed through the door.

"Come on monkey" she demanded.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked in a panic as she pulled herself off the floor and started stuffing things back into her duffel.

"Something happened… I think you should come home" Gaby told her.

Emily took in the sight before her: her sister wasn't in her pants and blue t-shirt, she was wearing jeans, a blouse, a leather jacket and those brown booties she always wore.

"Tell me what happened" she insisted as she finally zipped up the bag.

"There was an accident" Shay blurted.

"An accident? Is everyone okay?" Emily asked.

"Heather Darden went out to take her mind off today. She made a bad decision to get behind the wheel. There was an accident. She's headed to the police station." Gaby explained to her.

After having managed to fit the strap comfortably on her shoulder, Emily's duffel bag slid off and landed with a thud on the floor, making Basil sit up with a whine. Emily could only stare at them in shock.

"What?" Emily froze and looked up at her, "How? How could she… why is she? What?" She stammered

"Come on baby, let's go" Gaby said.

She moved forward and pulled the bag off the floor, allowing Shay to take her sister by the shoulders and lead her behind Gaby to the door.

Stunned, Emily could only follow. She was at a loss for words. How could she do that? How could she do that to her kids? Emily knew exactly what it was like to lose your parents. Ben and Griffin had nowhere to go… at least she had her brother and sister and her aunt. But the boys had nowhere… no one.

"Matt is going to take care of the boys for now" Emily could only nod; there was nothing to say.

She passed by everyone in the studio with a blank stare and glossy eyes. Gaby walked in front, carrying Emily's bag, Emily was in the middle of her and Shay, being led by the latter. Shay led her out to the car and filed her into the backseat, stepping aside to let the wolf in next to her. Gaby set the bag inside and got in the driver's seat and drove them off toward home.

She was awoken in the morning at her normal time, took her shower, ate her breakfast, got her medicine, and got herself ready.

"We're gonna leave early today" Gaby called to her from her spot in the kitchen.

"Why?" she asked back.

"I wanna stop at Matt's and check on the boys." Gaby explained.

Emily rolled her eyes, is this how things were going to be now? "Fine, but I still have to make it to school on time today" she responded, "OH! And today is early release, don't forget!" she told her sister.

Gaby pressed her palms against the counter and let out a long sigh- she had forgotten.

The car ride was quiet as Emily made conversation with Seth and Alexxis via text message. She took a few photos, sent a few unhappy emojis about the 'stopping at Matt's' thing and explained to them the whole situation. They didn't really know Ben and Griffin, but they'd heard all about them- their dad, their struggles.

The tires of the car scraped the curb as Gaby pulled up to Matt's house.

"Why are we doing this?" Emily asked, annoyed.

"Emily, honey…" Gaby said, and then sighed.

She was about to tread shallow water, "When the accident happened and you finally woke up, do you know how many people from the firehouse and otherwise came by and tried to help out? They came by night and day to see what they could do… this is the absolute _least_ we can do… is come by in the morning and give them a cereal bar. I tell you Matt damn well hasn't got anything good for them to eat."

Emily's eyes had filled again but she swallowed down her feelings. They got out of the car and Emily took a fistful of Basil's fur in her hand. Gaby came around and slung an arm around her shoulder, squeezing Emily against her before taking her hand and leading her to the door.

She rang the doorbell they heard the light thumps of running feet. The lock clicked over and the door was pulled inward. Ben's happy face in his dinosaur pygamas stood on the other side.

"Gaby! Emmy!" he cried, pulling Gaby through the door, whose hand slipped out of Emily's. Emily followed them in and closed the door behind them, following at a slow, annoyed pace. As they neared the kitchen at the end of the hall, Gaby leaned forward.

"BOO!" she screamed in Griffin's ear.

He jumped and smiled, said hello.

Gaby gave them a challenge to get dressed in under two minutes in exchange for a breakfast bar and Emily sidestepped into the living room and sat down. She listened to Gaby and Matt talk, listened to Gaby talk about the accident and how she felt when she had a just a child dumped into her care. Tears trickled down Emily's cheeks as they talked. Gaby described how hard it was to care for a disabled child and how Matt may just have it easy. It was overwhelming. She sent a text to Lexxi asking where they were on their way to school.

She gave them the address to Matt's house and asked for them to grab her on the way there.

Tell me what happened –S

**Gaby wanted to stop by Casey's to help out and she started telling him how hard it was to take care of me and just… I don't want to sit here any longer –E**

**Are you okay? –S**

**I feel angry and sad and there are too many emotions... it'll be a miracle if I can stop crying –E**

**We're close –S**

Thank you –E

It only took a few minutes for them to show up and Emily's chest was still heavy and thick. Breathing was hard with the lump of her tears and she had just been sitting on the couch. There were tear streaks on her cheeks and full eyes. She went into the kitchen and Gaby looked up at her worriedly, Matt the same way- brows knit together.

"What's wrong baby?" Gaby asked.

"Umm…" Emily croaked, "Lexxi and Seth are here to pick me up."

"Why did you call them?" Gaby asked.

Emily's leg bounced and a few water droplets spilled from her eyes, "Because, I have to get to school and because you don't know how to watch what you're saying."

Gaby's eyes went hard, "Don't talk to me that way"

Emily's face pinched as she whirled on the balls of her feet and made her way to the door. She pulled it open to see Lexxi slamming her car door and running towards Matt's house and Seth throwing her backpack into the back seat. Emily brought herself away from Gaby's pursuit and down the stairs, crashing into Lexxi who wrapped herself around the younger girl.

Gaby stood in the doorway, stunned at this outburst and watched and listened as Emily cried into Lexxi's chest. The older girl looked up at Gaby with a disgusted look and led Emily away to the car. Gaby looked up at Matt, standing next to her, feeling like she was helpless and watching her baby sister get kidnapped. The car, still running, pulled off the curb and left.

Three hours later, only a half hour before school let out, Emily sent a text to her brother, a plea to pick her up from school because of the early release.

Will you get me from school? –E

**What about Gaby? –A**

**I never get to see you, please? –E**

**Fine. But tell my why –A**

**A thing happened this morning… please come –E**

**I'll be there when you let out –A**

**Gracias, Hermano. Te amo. –E**

**Y tu –A**

And he kept his word. At 11:30 when the bell rang for the release of school, she went to the front, telling Seth and Lexxi that her brother was getting her, and there he was. The new model jet black car he was leaning on contained another face in the passenger seat. He came off the vehicle as she approached and she recognized the face of none other than Julia Willhite. Five feet from the car, she skipped forward and wrapped her arms around his face and he bent to place his lips against her head.

"¿Qué pasó? What happened?" he asked, pulling the backpack from her shoulders and opening the door for her. Basil allowed him to pass her the bag before jumping over the girl herself.

"Hey baby doll! What's goin' one? Why are we here today?" Julia asked, her energy causing Emily to grin widely.

"Hi Julie!" She responded as Antonio slid into the driver seat and put it in park.

"Talk" he demanded

"So Gaby wanted to stop at Matt's and check on him and the boys this morning and then she sat down with him and they started talking. Well, she was all 'I know how hard it is to have a kid dumped on you' and 'you're lucky you aren't only 23 when it happened' and 'it's tough to have damaged kids more than normal ones' and blah blah blah, but it made me feel so awful and I had to get out of there, so I texted Alexxis and asked her to come get me so she did" she huffed out.

She watched as Julia turned her head towards Antonio and as he turned to look at her. Emily could tell that there was a silent exchange, but she couldn't seem to care. Just as Julia looked back at her, Basil let out a small pained cry and lay down to wiggle her nose up under Emily's hand so it sat on her head.

"I'm sorry that happened, tootz" she said to the girl who gave her a small, sad smile.

"Thanks"

"Hey, how about you come hang at the station ah? Finally meet some people?" Antonio said.

"Sounds good!" it made her excited, she had wanted to meet the few other people she hadn't already.

He pulled up into a parking spot in front of the district building and she hopped out with him. She took his hand and Basil walked between, under the bridge they'd created. Julia walked on her other side, a hand protectively between her shoulder blades.

"Hi Sergeant Platt" she greeted upon entry.

The woman gave her a half snarl and they climbed the stairs- she'd never figure her out. The cage opened and he allowed Julia to go first, and then it was Antonio, followed by Emily and then her wolf. At the top, they were met with a hallway, doors on either side. It opened to desks in a strategy room where everyone seemed to be at a desk.

She pressed herself a little closer to Antonio, "This is my sister, Emily" he decided to go ahead and blurt.

A woman looked up, a man leaned out from behind some file cabinets- he looked homeless- and Voight appeared from his office.

"Look who it is!" he exclaimed happily.

As many differences as he had had with the people around her, he had his reasons and Emily wasn't one to judge. It seemed like he got his act together and his mind screwed in right. She smiled and leaned into him with a one-armed hug as he approached her with both of his spread widely.

"That's Olinski" he pointed to scruffy one behind the cabinets, who waved.

"You know I knew you when you were about this big" he motioned with his hand about three feet off the ground.

"Doesn't seem like it would have been that long ago" Emily said, making the woman let out a chuckle and everyone else laugh. She really wasn't much taller, just a foot pretty much. She'd always been tiny, but dance and car accidents didn't help you grow really.

"And this is Lindsay" he pointed to the woman.

"Hey hon, how are you?" her voice had an interesting tone to it. It was sort of raspy, but not gravelly like Voight's. She liked the way it sounded.

"I'm alright. Happy to finally get to meet everyone" she responded.

"Yeah, why didn't that happen sooner?" Lindsay asked, looking sarcastically to Antonio.

He scoffed, gave her a look, "Timing?"

He went to his desk and took a seat, "You have more to introduce" Lindsay told him as he kicked his legs up and leaned back, clasping his hands behind his head.

She stood and walked around her desk, kneeling to say hello to the service dog, "Hi sweetness, who are you?" Basil barked a response that only Emily could decode in her brain.

She dropped to her knees, running a hand down the wolf's fluffy spine, "Basil, she's my service dog" Lindsay lifted her eyes, her lips pursing together.

"She's gorgeous"

"She's half wolf" Emily explained just as Basil collapsed to her side and rolled to expose her stomach, her tongue lolling out to the side: "But umm… she doesn't always act like one" Emily finished with a giggle.

Lindsay let out a laugh, rubbed her belly for a moment and then stood, returning to her perch at her desk.

"Come here, I wanna show you something" Julia said.

Emily stood and followed her behind her desk where she allowed Emily the seat in her chair. Her arms came around her shoulders and one rested her against the desk and the other gripped the mouse. A few clicks and a program came up, lots of little facial feature icons appeared on the right side, a blank 'canvas' in the middle.

The detective clicked on a few of them, a face taking shape on the canvas, and then she went about adjusting the nose and the eyebrows.

"You can create whoever you want. Wanna give it a go?" Emily nodded and took the mouse from her. She cleared the screen and picked a head. Julia, once she'd gotten her base features down, moved the chair, pulled the girl off of it and sat, placing the girl on her lap. Antonio watched as she started to do this, gauging his sister's reaction. She didn't seem to notice really, or she didn't care. He leaned forward, intrigued- she had been so weird and conservative lately. As soon as she settled on the woman's lap, she went right back to creating whatever it was she was going to create.

He went along with his own work, not noticing Emily glancing up at him every few seconds and then tweaking something on the computer. Julia did her work around her, filling out incident forms and setting them aside, taking notes on files and writing down scenarios for current cases. Emily worked for only 20 minutes, before reaching over and tapping Julia's hand.

"Oh my god…" the detective whispered.

"What?" Antonio asked, alarmed, looking up.

"It's like… exact!" Julia exclaimed.

"What is?" he demanded.

Emily giggled as the female detective turned the computer monitor so he could see it. Lindsay looked up from her desk and studied the face on the screen. It was definitely Antonio, but she had given him a mullet and a goatee. As Lindsay let out a loud cackle and then continued to laugh, Emily's pleasure built in her stomach as she watched her brother's face as he pursed his lips and bowed his head to shake it.

"My own family" he remarked.

Emily lost it, she began to laugh and giggle: "My own family would do this to me!" He cried.

Emily let her head back against the detective's shoulder, who also rode out her own laughter. Dawson shook his head before glancing at the clock.

"Vamos, mona. Let's go, I don't have anything for lunch for you. Let me take you to the firehouse." Her features changed to those of annoyance, but she twisted on her lap to hug Julia and hopped off, waving to her new 'friends' and following Antonio out.

As he pulled up outside the firehouse, he studied his sister in the review mirror, watching for possible clues of distress on her face.

"This is your stop mona" he told her.

She unbuckled, emotionless, and leaned forward to press a kiss to his stubbly cheek. She slung her backpack onto her shoulder and hopped out of the car, checking diligently both ways for cars before jogging across. Antonio pulled away once she was in the driveway and she stopped to stare with teary eyes as he drove away.

The slamming of a car door pulled her attention away from the one retreating. She looked around before seeing a dark haired woman pulling the back door open to her car. It was Renee.

"Renee!" Emily squealed happily, dropping her bag and running over.

"Em!" she greeted, stopping what she was doing to accept the oncoming girl in a hug, "How are you sweetheart?" she asked, squeezing her tightly.

"I'm good, do you need any help?" she asked, pointing to the woman's bags.

"No honey, I'm alright" she told her.

"Well I gotta get inside, nice to see you" Emily told her, turning to go inside.

"You too honey" Renee called after her.

Her sisters are in the shower when she gets there, and Cruz and Otis are in their towels, banging on the door and harassing them for entry. She smiles, amused, and chuckles. Cruz looks at Otis with a horrified expression and they both look back at her like deer in headlights. But she shakes her head and moves on towards the common room.

That night, she went back to her brother's and spent it with him. She and Eva talked about girl stuff and she got advice about how to put up with Gaby from her brother. Basil got in some good play time with Diego and she had a better home-cooked meal than she'd gotten in a while.

She spends the next two days at the studio, practicing, practicing, practicing. She made sure to eat and drink and take breaks and give herself her medicine at the right time. And the day after that is a shift day that she goes to the firehouse for.

Her sisters go out pretty immediately on a call to an unresponsive woman and she is left with the men at the firehouse. She takes a nap and wakes to someone yelling, it's Clarke. She listens and grows bored and then runs into Mills on her way out of her sister's bunk and he seems to be suspicious of Clarke, as he mentioned to Casey.

That night, her sister goes to Matt's for dinner. All of sudden it seems like Emily has dropped entirely off her radar and she only has eyes for Ben and Griffin and Matt's wellbeing. She spends the night with her brother again, but this time, she holes up in the guest room and won't talk to anyone- that is until her aunt unlocks the door from the outside.

She hears her working at the lock, but doesn't care; she's too busy writing in her journal. She heard, but she didn't pay attention enough to the outcome of it.

_Hi mumma, hola papa. _

_Gabriela doesn't seem to care anymore… I don't know how I feel… forgotten I guess._

_It's like she didn't care that I would hear when she talked to uncle Casey about me and the accident and all of that, and then she cares more about helping out with Griffin and Ben and I'm just a distraction. _

_I get to see hermano much more though. I like being with him. Though I'm old enough and everything not to have it happen, he's stronger and he holds me more than she does. I remember I never wanted anyone to touch my legs… they never just hurt, but I didn't want anyone touching them because I was afraid they were _gonna _hurt if they did. I guess that was a little stupid. And then when I could finally walk again, I was super afraid of hurting them again. So I took dance and gymnastics really seriously and made absolutely sure that I was doing it all correctly –all of my moves –so I wouldn't get hurt. _

_But now, I feel like such a child sometimes. I cry a lot and I like it when people hold me or when I curl up on the couch or if they prop me on their hip. And I'm tiny…which makes it easier for them to do it. I don't know… I guess I just don't really know what to do. _

_Anyway, I miss you, but I'll always love you. _

_Emily_

Her aunt Laura pushed the door opened and leaned against the frame as she watched her niece write. She seemed so into it, she didn't want to interrupt her creative flow. Emily didn't really seem to notice as she moved closer, or when she sat on the bed and the mattress sank. But she jumped and stared wide-eyed at her when she rubbed a hand down her clothed leg.

She closed the book slowly and set it to the side, "Do you wanna talk?" her aunt asked

Emily shrugged, "May I?" Laura asked, motioning towards the journal.

Emily shook her head and moved her hand to press the journal under her bent knees. Laura let out a sigh and bowed her head, suddenly becoming interested in the pattern on the comforter. She took a deep breath and looked back up at Emily, studying her. She had tried to have heart-to-hearts with the girl in the past, but she shut herself away. Sometimes she thought her niece didn't like her, but whatever it was, she never quite broke through the wall.

"Gaby doesn't care anymore…" Emily muttered weakly.

"But she does sweetheart, her mind is just elsewhere" her aunt explained sweetly.

"Not one week ago she wouldn't lie down with me for two minutes to break my schedule when I was struggling, and today and this past week she just… doesn't care" she vented.

"Oh honey" Laura sighed, sucking quietly on her teeth, moving up toward the headboard and wrapping herself around Emily as she started to cry. Emily set her head on her chest, sniffling into the soft fabric of her shirt.

"It's gonna be alright. You should get some sleep." she instructed.

"Do you know anything about the accident? Has anything come up?" Emily asked her.

Laura let out a sigh, hoping she wouldn't bring it up, "Your brother just went over to Lieutenant Casey's to tell him the Heather's friend didn't make it…" she felt Emily stop breathing and rubbed her hand down her shoulder, "She's facing manslaughter charges" she finished.

Emily nodded weakly, "Will you lie with me while I fall asleep? It'll help keep the nightmares at bay" she explained.

"Of course I will" Laura told her, squeezing her niece against her one last time.

Emily moped for the next two days, thinking about how awful Heather is to have been so careless and do that to her friend. The man who hit Emily was drunk. Heather was drunk. The man who nearly took her life and stole so many others was drunk. And though Heather only took one, she was still almost just as bad in Emily's eyes. There was probably almost nothing the teen could think of that Heather could do to make things better.

There was another shift at the firehouse and Laura was off that day, so Emily spent some of it with her. But, when her sister phoned her after a call, and said they were headed back to the house, and she wanted her there, she got worried.

"What happened? Something again?"

"You know that arsonist? The one after Kelly?" she asked.

"Yeah, what happened? Is he okay?" She began to panic.

"He's okay" her breathing returned to normal, "But he set fire to Peter's restaurant" her breath caught in her throat again.

"I'll have aunt Laura drop me off" she said and hung up.

When they got there, all of the trucks were there, but it looked like they had just gotten back, the doors to the bay were still up. She thanked her aunt and went in search of everyone. She could hear talking in the common room, saw a woman, tall, dark hair, maybe 40s or early 50s, talking to a group of unhappy firemen.

"Unauthorized tours…" she heard and went wide, deciding to enter from the other side, "Especially a child…" she froze.

She came in kitchen side and slunk to the back of the group, standing halfway behind Gaby and taking her hand. The woman noticed and stopped short.

She leaned to the side, "Hello?" she said.

Gaby pressed Emily behind her back protectively, as if there were a gunman staring them down. The firehouse parted like the red sea until the three girls-Emily, Shay, and Dawson- were standing, vulnerable at the end. Emily's grip tightened on Gaby's jacket and the older sister took a step back, placing both of her hands behind her where they landed semi-lightly on either of the girl's hips.

"That's not necessary, I don't bite" the woman said

"I think some of us would disagree with that statement" her uncle Wallace said to her.

She whirled to look at him to her right. Cruz, feeling uncomfortable for her and her safety when he first caught site of her, took this moment of her inattention to swoop around and pull her up, backing from the group.

She sat on one of his hips, on the left. He turned slightly away from the woman and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His left arm held her securely against him around her back and his right hand came up to wrap his thumb around the top of her arm and his palm and fingers to come to rest against her back and shoulder.

"Who is this?" She asked, stepping forward.

Cruz took a hasty step back and Emily was so stunned, she didn't know what to do.

"I'm Emily and I have every clearance to be here." She finally informed her

Her uncle's heart filled with pride.

"Really? Is that so?" the woman asked.

Emily nodded.

"Yes, well we'll have to see about that" she said and turned.

"Don't let it happen again" she said to Boden and he only looked at the ground and stuck his arm out, motioning to her where the door was.

Once out of site, Gaby moved back towards Emily and Cruz and he set her down so that Dawson could wrap her in a hug. She was shaking.

"I don't like her"

"No one does, monkey" Herrmann said.

Shay pulled out a syringe and an alcohol pad and swabbed at Emily's hip before wiping her hands down with it, it took her less than three seconds to administer her medicine and cap the needle back with the plastic cap.

"You alright?" Cruz asked and she nodded, allowing herself to be led away from the group and towards the bunk to settle down.


	3. Work it Out

**Thank you to: **ChicagoFireLover101 for _following_

**Thank you to: **ChicagoFireLover101 for _favoriting_

**Jscat2: **Thank you so much for your review! It means a lot to even just see that you reviewed. Thank you so much for telling me that I do a good job with events from the show because with this chapter, I really don't feel like I did that. It feels jumpy to me because I never know what day of the week it is and if Emily should go to school and I never know how to fill in the gaps at night and on the off days. So, because in the last chapter I didn't really do a whole lot of following the script of the show and any of that and to know that I did a good job of that, meant a lot to me so thank you so much!

**ChicagoFireLover101: **Thank you for your review, it means a lot. And thank you for telling me that you liked this chapter and that I did a good job with it because that also means a whole lot to me. I will try to fulfill your request of more Gaby and Antonio and unfortunately, I didn't do that in this chapter, but I'm going to try for the next one. Once again, thank you so much for your review!

Gaby's next day was a Friday and she woke Emily a little earlier than she usually did.

"We gotta talk, Monkey" she said.

They never had talked about what happened last week; miraculously, thanks to Matt and the boys and Gaby's new muse, she'd been able to avoid it.

"Yeah?" Emily replied groggily.

"What happened?" Gaby asked, sitting at Emily's feet.

Basil moved her head to lay it on Emily's stomach, almost in protection, "I sat there and listened to you talk about how hard it was to take care of me and since you knew, you could help him out. How do you think that made me feel?" Emily told her.

Gaby seemed to think about it. She knew in her heart that she had done something wrong, but she felt like she needed Emily to tell her exactly what it was.

"You know Gaby, I get that what happened sucks. I get that it's my fault…"

"No…honey" Gaby tried to interject, but Emily wouldn't have it.

"I get that you had a kid, a comatose, disabled kid to take care of. But could I do anything about it? No. I couldn't. I really couldn't. I couldn't _FEEL_ my legs for what? Three months? If I could've started walking immediately, I would have. But I couldn't, because I couldn't feel anything. It took me a while to build my strength and I'm sorry that it was hard for you to deal with a disabled five year old after she was the reason you lost your parents. But… I lost my parents too, I knew you struggled but all I could do was watch. I lost some of myself, I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. And to hear you whine and moan and groan about it, really put a damper on my spirits. I couldn't handle that. You want me to get better? Stop making it worse." She lectured her older sister.

She meant every word; there was nothing she didn't mean. Her sister knew that. But she should also know that the things she says has an effect on people. Emily had started crying about halfway through her lecture; there wasn't much she could do nowadays to stop them once they came.

A lone tear rolled down Gaby's cheek as she looked up at her baby sister, "I'm sorry… I… I know that I can't… I don't… I'm sorry…" she could form her sentence.

"I know that you know, Gaby, but the problem with you is that you don't apply yourself. Knowledge only comes in handy when you apply. That's how it works."

Gaby nodded, "I'm sorry…"

"Me too…" Emily replied, "I'm sorry I stole your young-adulthood, and I'm sorry that you had to deal with me, and I'm sorry that you hate me, and I'm sorry that I killed your parents, and I'm sorry about everything."

"You didn't kill our parents, Em… you gotta stop thinking that way."

Emily threw the covers off of her legs, revealing them in short sleep shorts, her scars jumping out from her legs, Basil sat up and whined, "But I did!" she screamed, "If I wasn't a dancer, and I didn't have a competition, we wouldn't have been on the highway at that time, we wouldn't have been there at all, and he wouldn't have hit us and killed everyone!" her screams got more and more painful as she went on explaining.

Gaby couldn't contain her own emotions, "That's not true! No one thinks that!" Gaby tried to pacify her.

"EVERYBODY THINKS IT! No one has the balls to say it to my face, but you should! 'Emmy! You killed mom and dad! How could you do that to us?!'"

"And what's that gonna do ah?" Gaby's voice hardened and she began to yell back, "What is that going to make you feel, huh? Are you going to be relieved that people can say it to you? You want to carry that burden? Or are you not going to be able to handle it? And are you gonna drag that blade across your wrist again? Huh? What are you gonna do?" Gaby yelled.

"NO!" She let out a final pained scream, placing her hands over her ears and crumpling to the floor of her room.

Gaby couldn't react immediately; there weren't words for what was happening here.

She knelt down and wrapped Emily in her arms, pulling her onto her lap and cradling her like a baby. She tried to calm her and tried to shush her, but nothing was working.

"You have to let it go baby. You can't carry that weight on your shoulders. You can't go around thinking you did that and you can't want others to think you did it either, it isn't safe for you. No one thinks that, honey. No one ever said it, no one ever will because it isn't true. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, not when it's a lie of this scale. You can't do it to yourself, you just can't." Gaby mumbled in her ear.

She was late to school that day. She didn't care, Gaby didn't seem to either. But Gaby had needed to get her cleaned up and Emily had to be ready and competent for school that day. Seth questioned her all day, but she wasn't having it. She completely shut herself in for the day, there was nothing anyone could say or do to make her want to come back.

Gaby picked her up afterschool and they went straight home. Gaby had called Antonio that day to let him know what was up, but Emily only skimmed his messages.

The next day, in the morning, instead of going to school, Gaby took Emily to see her therapist. She had a three hour session with her.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" She asked.

"Did Gaby tell you?" She whispered in response.

"She told me her side of the story, yes."

Dr. Ross was one of those people that Emily hadn't trusted right away. It took her a while to get to talking to her. But now, after a few months, it felt good to talk to her and it wasn't something Emily thought she could live without anymore. Once this woman knew everything and sympathized with her, she was one of the only people Emily could imagine herself talking to. She called her if she really needed to- she was always there.

"I couldn't stand listening to her talk about me like that" She sniffled.

"How was that?"

"Like I'm a burden" her voice came out small and cracked.

"Like you _are_ or like you _were_?" Emily looked up from where she was staring at the ground.

"I don't… I don't know" she shook her head as she spoke.

"How is everything at school?"

"Everyone gets one more thing to pick on me about. 'Hey, blade, what's under the sleeves?' or 'Ain't never heard of a smart emo girl'" she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"At least they think you're smart" Dr. Ross pointed out.

Emily released a sharp, controlled chuckle and looked up at her therapist before grinning and they both began to giggle.

On Sunday, after being unable to find her wallet, Gaby drove them carefully to the station. When they got there, she immediately got her phone out and dialed a call to someone.

"Jay… Hey, yeah, it's Gaby. I think I left my wallet in your car… would it be too much trouble for you to drop it off? Thanks… yeah, we'll be here… but come soon, fires don't wait" She smiled and hung up. She glanced at Emily and gave her a short, almost sad smile and walked off.

"Yo, did you hear Shay and Severide were looking for another roommate to go in on with their apartment?" Cruz questioned from the room.

"What?" Otis jumped in, seemingly very intrigued.

Emily drowned out the noise of their arguing and looked down at her wolf, patting the couch lightly with her hand to get her to jump up. She did, resting her head on Emily's thigh and stared up at her with questioning eyes.

'_Are you okay?' _Came her voice in Emily's head.

Emily shrugged and stared off.

'_I can't live without you'_ it came as a whisper this time.

"You won't ever have to" she whispered back.

'I almost did'

"We've been over this" Emily reprimanded.

'_Well' _Basil wiggled onto her side to get comfortable, _'I'll die first anyway.'_

Emily shot wide eyes at her and bent to kiss the top of her head.

The sound of a car door slamming outside got her attention and she jumped off the couch and

ran towards the window to watch. He was relatively tall, white, short brown hair and stubble around his jawline.

She felt arms around her neck and tilted her head back to see Shay's pale, sharp chin, "Have you met him?" Emily asked of her.

"Me? No" she laughed the second word. Gaby had a knack of doing that- keeping things secretive.

She watched as he stuck his hand out to Gaby and as she swatted it with the clutch she had just gotten back from him. He watched as Gaby turned and walked into the firehouse and caught eyes with the look-alike in the window. Emily bravely held his eye contact before moving away and settling back on the couch.

The bell rang '_Squad 3, ambulance 61, Car in water 330 west lower acker…" _She sighed and stayed put- she didn't go on calls like that. As Severide ran through the common room, he went right past her. She watched him go but he stooped and his shoulders heaved a sigh. He ran backwards towards her and placed a kiss on her head before running back out. A smile spread across her face and she watched him go.

She settled on her phone and sent a text to Seth. And then to Antonio. And then to Abby. And she texted for the entire 45 minutes that they were gone. She listened unintentionally to Otis and Cruz and Mouch bicker about the apartment.

"…Think about all the beautiful babes that are gonna be parading through that place!" Cruz offered as an explanation to Mouch. She looked up with a disgusted feeling and Cruz shut his mouth pretty quick. He continued, quietly- or so he thought. She quickly relayed the conversation to Seth and they laughed about it.

Gaby and Shay then walked into the common room and Shay rubbed her sister's back- that meant it hadn't been a good call. When Herrmann started talking about some promotion for the bar the next night, she rolled her eyes and drowned it out.

A couple other things were said before something caught her ear, "…You should meet my friend Isabella, she spent the last 2 years in DC working for some congressman, and she's back home now…"

"Izzy's back?" She interrupted excitedly.

"Yes, now…" Gaby responded, annoyed.

A few minutes later, she remembered something she was going to ask Kelly after hearing what Cruz and Otis had to say. As she looked for him, she saw him walking with Mills towards a man leaning on a car outside the firehouse. They were three quarters of the way there and she couldn't make out who he was.

She ran out the door and called for him, "Kelly!" the three of them looked up.

He and Mills were still attached at the hand- they had shaken for some reason. She stopped short, the color drained from her face, her smile dropped. It was Kelly's dad.

Mills released and walked back towards the firehouse, she backed up a step.

"One minute, tiny" Severide called.

She grasped Peter tightly as he made his way toward her and he placed a hand between her shoulder blades to guide her inside the firehouse and away from Benny Severide. He led her inside and guided her to a barstool. He went back to work emptying their dishwasher and Gaby came over and placed a hand on her back and began talking to him. As Boden passed the doorway with Benny, she gave him a tight-jawed look that made Emily think of her stubbornness in the past.

"It's good" he responded to it, "He's got good reason."

They nodded, and Gaby spaced, it was easy for her to tell. Because when people space, the mess and fiddle with the obvious, and Gaby's hand reached a place just under where the clasp of Emily's bra was and began to mess with it; it was a scar from the accident- a circular scar from the piece of windshield that impaled her back. Emily didn't say anything.

"They told you about Hadley?" Shay asked.

Everyone, alert now, looked to her, "What about him?" Peter asked tiredly.

"Kelly thinks it's him" she explained.

Emily looked to Peter and watched his quick transformation. His eyes hardened, his jaw tightened, his muscles clenched, but she was still taken aback when he threw something to the back of the kitchen. Emily jumped and squeezed her eyes shut and Gaby grabbed her head and pressed it to her chest to calm her. It wasn't working.

Her breaths came in shallow gulps and her chest began to feel constricted, "Breathe honey" Gaby soothed.

"I'm… trying" she gasped.

"Try harder; tell me what's going on"

"That's what it… what it sounded like when… when they were looking for us… that clang" she explained.

She was jumpier these days; the littlest things set her off, "All this energy? Focus that into breathing, honey, focus." Gaby instructed.

When Emily calmed in record time, Gaby was quickly pulled away from her to go after Matt- who had taken off after a phone call.

"You alright kiddo?" Shay asked her.

"I feel a little overwhelmed" she answered.

"Talk to me"

"I just mean like… Gaby and this guy, Benny, this, and the studio's closed today…"

"I see"

"When she had her hand on my back?" she told Shay.

"Mmhmm" she hummed.

"She was messing with the scar"

Shay nodded her head slowly, "Did that make your reaction stronger?"

"I think so" she admitted. Shay brought her in for a hug.

"Remember when I told you I'd help you stretch if there was ever a day you didn't go to the studio?" Emily nodded, "Offer still stands." She kissed her and stood, walking out and in the direction of the bathroom.

It gave Emily an idea, "Uncle Boden? She called as she wandered down the hallway.

In his office, he closed his eyes in annoyance and Gale McLeod raised her eyebrows in sarcastic questioning.

"No, no, no" Capp whispered in her ear as he grabbed her under the armpits and pulled her back the way she came, "The witch is in there" he explained.

She nodded and scampered off towards the bunks.

Five minutes later and a knock on Gaby's door told her that it was over.

"Come in" she chirped.

Boden opened the door and leaned in the doorway, "Whatchya need, Em?"

"Can I rearrange the furniture in the meeting room?" she asked sweetly.

"Why?"

"The studio's closed and I was thinking I could use it to stretch and do some stuff" she explained.

It made him smile- she was going to do this, "Sure"

A grin settled on her lips and he smiled and walked away. Into the meeting room she went. Or board room or classroom –however you wanted to say it was fine with her, it wasn't like she cared. She busied herself with moving all of the chairs out of the room first and then pushed all of the tables to one side and then moved the stacked chairs over with them. A good, open space is what she had now; she was just missing the mirrors. She looked around and her eyes settled on the blinds –they were open; she closed them.

In the middle of the room, she pulled her left arm over her chest and held it before switching to the right. A few simple stretches later and she eased into a split on the floor; made simple due to the curtesy of the yoga pants she'd pulled on that day. For her left split, she flattened herself against her leg for a minute. Then, switching her hips to a right split did the same thing. Adjusting to a straddle, she hugged each of her legs for a minute, then the floor, and then side stretched for a minute in each direction, and hugged the floor again.

Once done with her over splits, and having nearly 25 minutes gone by, she started stretching out her back doing back bends and walkovers and a few other yoga stretches. Feeling stretched, she began with some of her strength routine: 100 crunches, 50 jumping jacks, 25 sit-ups and pushups, and 30 second planks. Gaby wasn't back yet and neither was Matt and she couldn't help but wonder exactly what the hell they were doing.

A knock came at the door and she stood in the middle of the room and stared at it with a flushed face and tousled hair.

"Come in" she squeaked.

Shay slipped through the door, "Did you really just do a whole bunch of stuff without me?" she asked.

Emily smiled a sheepish smile and shifted her feet, "I could use your help now?" it was a question, an offer, and an apology.

Shay's eyebrows rose, "Really?" her voice dripped surprise and it sounded kind of terrible in Emily's ears- _she had put that doubt there, though_.

Emily nodded and Shay pulled off her call-belt and came to stand behind her. Emily held out her left hand and Shay took the cue and held hers out also. Emily took it and turned her left foot out, took her right foot and brought it to her knee, leaning as she brought it up further and then extended it straight into the air in a tilt.

"Will you press it back and keep going as much as you can?" she asked.

Shay didn't give an answer- she was probably too far in shock. But Emily felt her hand wrap around her calf and felt the stretch as she kept pressing it back, meeting more and more resistance until a squeeze from Emily told her to stop- almost 270 degrees from the position in which it started.

"Do the other one?" Shay asked as if they'd been doing this for all of Emily's life.

She nodded and brought her foot back to repeat it with her left.

She didn't do much else; in fact, the only other thing she did was have Shay help her improve her arabesque and then she decided she was done.

She stood in front of her to face her, "Thank you."

"You're welcome" she replied and kissed the top of her head.

Gaby barged through as they were halfway done resetting everything and looked almost frustrated when the bell rang for them to go.

She finished and the rest of the day went with her feeling euphorically happy. She stayed with her brother that night. Laura made Arroz Con Pollo and a side salad. Emily smiled to herself as she ate, trying desperately not to break out with an ear-to-ear grin.

Antonio noticed and looked around to Laura, giving her a questioning look, "What's got you so happy?" he asked Emily.

Her face dropped and she looked up to her brother and then took in the faces of her aunt and her cousins, "What?" she questioned.

"You've been smiling all through dinner" Laura told her with a giggle.

"Really?" she looked to Eva, who shrugged and went back to eating.

"The studio was closed today" she told him.

"That's a good thing?" he snickered sarcastically.

"Auntie Shay helped me stretch" she told him.

He dropped his fork and his jaw and stared at her. She stabbed another piece of chicken with her fork and brought it to her mouth. She was oblivious to his gaze for half a minute before she looked up to him.

"What?" she swallowed her chicken.

"What do you mean?" he was almost getting angry.

"She. Helped. Me. Stretch." She enunciated.

"Tell. Me. What. You. Mean." She smiled; it was hard to take him seriously when he talked like that.

"I moved the stuff around in the meeting room and did some stretches and then she came in and helped with some of the stuff that could require a second pair of hands" she explained.

"Really?" Eva asked, "I can help you too, I take dance too sometimes" Emily smiled at her

"Maybe sometimes" she told her.

It was Eva's turn to smile.

"That's good. That's progress" Antonio told her.

Her smile was light and thin this time. The conversation was going on too long for her comfort, and now that he brought up the awkwardness of progress, she felt self-conscious. She placed her fork down.

"Are you done sweetheart?" Laura asked.

Emily nodded her response silently, her eyes were feeling the initial sting of tears and Basil went from lying on her side to lying on her stomach with her head on Emily's shoe- a sign that she was there and ready if anything happened.

Antonio exchanged an entirely different kind of look with Laura that time.

The next night was a bit of a promotion night for Molly's- much of the firehouse was there and men from other firehouses and friends of everyone were there. Mouch, Cruz, and Otis were going to be doing their god awful cinnamon challenge for the third bedroom in Shay and Kelly's apartment that not even Emily had seen yet. Her brother and her aunt couldn't make it but she had friends enough people there.

"Alright everyone, it has come time for our cinnamon challenge!" Otis announced.

"Are we really gonna do this Otis?" Cruz questioned both of Otis and himself.

"Dude, people came out for this specifically and it's for the podcast" Otis told him.

"You know what guys? I'm out; I don't need to get burned. It can be the two of you" Mouch announced suddenly.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Cruz" Otis says to the guys from the other firehouses.

Cruz holds up the ginormous bottle of spice; "Bro, this is ground cumin" Otis looked stunned.

Emily lets out a laugh and turns her back on them, going to find entertainment elsewhere. She hears a couple of exasperated groans and rolls her eyes at the blatant displays of childishness and foolishness of the grown-up people around her.

Then, out of the corner of her eye- a flash of shoulder-length platinum blonde hair. Turning, she finds Gaby with her hand in the middle of a woman's back, introducing her to Mouch.

"Izzy!" Emily screams and takes off towards her.

The woman, Gaby's friend Isabella, whirls around at hearing her name. She opens her arms to prepare for the child coming towards her and stumbles backwards a little when they connect.

"Hiya munchkin!" she squeals as she squeezes Emily in a hug, "Oh my god, you're so big! The last time I saw you, you were waving goodbye to ten years old!" she announces, holding her out at arms' length to get a look at her.

"Really? I'm that much bigger?" Emily asks playfully of her.

"Okay, half an inch is a lot for some people!" she jokes

"I got bigger that that!" Emily retorts, pushing her playfully.

"Emily!" She hears from behind her.

She turns to see Seth coming towards them, "There's my ride" she explains to Isabella, "It was great seeing you again"

"You'll be seeing more of me" she says.

Emily smiles just as Seth wraps an arm around her waist. He nods at the two women and looks to Emily, "Ready to go?" she nods and mouths goodbye to her sister and friend and allows him to lead her away.

As they drive away, she watches as Gaby begins to flirt with this new guy and throws herself into the seat, huffing in frustration.

**Alright everyone, I hope you like this. **

**I got really confused following the episode because it jumps around a lot and I don't always know when the next shift has started and what day it is during the week or even how much time has passed between episodes and instead of having stiff spaghetti, I've just got tangled noodles in my skull. So, stick with me, I'm trying. **

**I also have trouble filling in between shifts and I don't know if I'll just start heading things and giving the shifts numbers during the chapter like 'first shift', 'next shift', 'third shift'; I don't know. **

**It's also going to be really hard to write Gaby and Shay's estrangement from each other with Emily in the mix. But I'm doing my best: just like I told you. **

**On another note, my 'school shooting' that's supposed to happen has turned out to be three chapters long so when that comes out (in three to five chapters) as three interlude chapters. You'll just have to stick with me. The first one a half chapters of those are written very differently in second person and that's the way that I write the best (Second person –oddly enough) so stick with me (again) please. **

**Also, thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed –please keep doing so.**

**I will likely post another (chapter) onto the original Emily Dawson story reminding everyone that the continuance is on this story, unless of course (PLEASE ANSWER THIS): should I just keep these chapters with the other story and delete this one and repost these to that?**

**Thanks so much guys!**

**Requests, pointers, anything. **

**All mistakes are mine; I have no beta. **


End file.
